Sunday, February 10, 2013

Written 2 hours ago by Michele Robinson (Duffey)

Mom left yesterday morning and made it safely to Mississippi. I'm a little anxious about being home alone next week, but know I will be fine. Pacing myself seems to be the key..that and limiting computer, texting and television time. That's so difficult. Everyone says.."Just rest"...Easy to say..but so so boring. I should've gotten a couple of audio books..but didn't think of it until just now. It seems as though the antibiotics are working..that pesky lymph node is noticeably smaller. Pain is much better in some aspects--however new pains show up randomly..overall I'm doing well when I follow the dr's instructions. My hair is growing back pretty quickly..or at least it seems quick to me.  Bob looks at me every so often and says, "Welcome Back"--it's funny..because I do feel like I've been on this long journey..not just since surgery, but the weeks and months leading up to it. I was so "in my head" all the time..trying to stand up and balance, trying to remember things, trying to say the right words, trying to make sure I swallowed correctly, trying to blink away blurry vision, trying to work without making mistakes, trying to hear , trying to drive safely...I feel like I was in a shell of myself..not able to get out of it.  This weird shell/fuzzy thing comes and goes..I still feel strange on and off, not sure what triggers it- (brain swelling certainly plays a role). I don't know if that makes any sense at all..but it does to me..and I feel like these times out the shell are lasting longer and longer. I can't tell my speech is any better. If you had a conversation with me you would think I sound fine (I hope). For me..it's sometimes exhausting to have a conversation. I have to think and talk...and it's like the words get all stacked on top of each other and won't come out right. So, if you've called and I haven't called you back, please don't be offended. I will call you back eventually...and Dr. Kim assured me this will get better with time.
My computer time is up..and besides...this really handsome guy just brought me a cup of coffee, so I think I'll go enjoy it with him.
Have a great Sunday.

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