I feel like I have no reserves left.
I am a bundle of emotionally and neurologically raw nerve endings.
I feel guilty for not being more of a martyr.
I've been dizzy for most of the past 48 hours.
I feel like I did before surgery.
Dizzy, headache...a little bit of tinnitus.., blurred vision.
And every joint I have aches.
I have family in town.
We've been out shopping, however, my constricted cranium and I have been dropped off at home to rest and regroup before dinner tonight.
No matter how much I petitioned, "I'm really okay"..
My new sisters were having none of that.
What awful timing!!
Why does this have to hit while they are visiting for Mother's Day?
(my husband's mother passed away this year, my surgery was on the day they chose for her funeral--these sweet sisters gave up their brother to me when they needed him more than I, so he could be with me on surgery day-so we flew them out here to spend this first Mother's Day without their mom-)
I just want to scream, shout and plead for some normalcy.
Chiari makes me mad.
It's an invisible, relentless foe.
I have no reserves of energy left to fight it.
No gumption or moxie.
Today I just want to let it win.
Succumb to a life of dizziness, headaches and weirdness.
As the girls dropped me off and left for yet another shopping adventure...I felt tears well up in my eyes. This diseases is so lonely and isolating.
I changed my clothes, crawled into my bed and thought to myself that I have never felt so alone.
Then I thought of my fellow Chiarians.
Have you felt this way?
If so, I'm sorry..I feel your pain
you are not alone.