Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Man in the Moon

The man in the moon is really getting on my nerves.
I mean that literally-REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES.
I'm 5 mths post op for Chiari decompression/arachnoid cyst fenestration.
I've had no VERTIGO since pre-op.
A little dizzy, motion-sickness daily-but nothing I can't deal with.
This's been Spin City (without Michael J. Fox).
Many are blaming in on the Super Moon.
The gravitational pull causes changes in tide, exacerbation of crime, babies to be born and increase in symptoms of those with Chiari Malformation Type 1.
I hesitated to blame this on the moon.
I hesitated to blame this on the heat (I'm in hot, hot, hot Texas).
I suppose I would rather blame these two culprits rather than blaming Chiari itself.

Like an unwanted admirer, Chiari hangs around, shows up at the oddest places and at the damnedest times. (I had this admirer in high school that I kept saying "NO!" to, "No!" to dates, "No!" to giving him my phone number, "NO! NO! NO!"   He would not take "NO!" for an answer.  He even showed up at my house on Valentine's Day-with a puppy-(which we kept for years as a cherished family pet, but that doesn't matter here)- when I was waiting on my real dream date to show up--
AAAARRRGGGHHHH!! What kind of timing is that???  I mean, ..Couldn't he get the picture?   "NO" really means.."Go AWAY!!!"?

So this morning, I said aloud to Chiari.."While I appreciate that you want to be such a big part of my life, I think we need to take a break-so we can both really evaluate this relationship...How about I get back to you in about, oh....50 years...?"
As usual, Chiari said nothing.

I've noticed in the past few weeks, laughing with dinner guests, or really any laughing..I get dizzy.
But not the spinning. The spinning is the worst.
The headaches--yes, they are annoying.
Waking up with my limbs asleep and tingling--annoying.
Tinnitus and intermittent hearing loss..annoying.
Spinning makes me not want to drive.
Spinning makes me not want to go for a walk.
Spinning is ruining my day..every day for the last week. 

So I guess I'm just the man in the moon.. to mother nature..
to the "Chiari-whisperer"... to whoever may be in control of this (because I'm certainly not in control of it!)--
Can you just stop this carousel? I want to get off. 
I was enjoying the "No Spin Zone" (borrowed that from O'Reilly) and I'd like to go back there.

If the Man in the Moon is the culprit-I'm ready for the Super Moon to orbit its way out of my atmosphere.

If the heat is causing my increased spinning..then I'm basically in for a long haul, summer has only just begun here in my beloved Texas.

Oh--why didn't I think of this sooner? Excessive centrifugal forces from the White House could be causing my problem. There are so many "spins" going on there, the atmosphere HAS to be affected!

So, I suppose I better settle in and hunker down, arm myself with valium, meclizine, a frosty beverage and a copy of the constitution, because if Wikipedia is correct--there's no end to any of these great forces wielding their power over me any time soon.

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